There is no Santa, those presents ate from your parents.
Dear Diet Coke,
I feel like you’re overreacting,
Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma’s a bitch.
Sincerely, the Titanic.
Dear people of the world,
I don’t mean to sound slutty but please use me whenever you want.
I have never heard anyone say, “I don’t know, lets Yahoo! It…”.
Sincerely, Google It.
Please grow up and solve your own problems. I don’t have time for yours AND mine.
Sincerely, Screw the value of X.
If you can’t make me skinny, please make all my friends fat.
Sincerely, Not picky.
You produced Miley Cyrus, Bieber is your punishment.
I can make your girlfriend scream louder then you can.
So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF happened?
There was definitely room on that raft for the both of us.
I just got off the phone with Merlin and he is totally down to get the band back together!