Nevermind
Dear Credit Card:
This ones going to hurt
Sincerely, A Woman About to Go Shopping
Dear Girlfriends
Just tell us we’re going to see an Action movie this time please.
Sincerely, Boyfriends
Dear Girlfriends
The boyfriends who surprise and excite you today will soon be the husbands who sleep until noon and fill the fridge with beer
Sincerely, Every Old Married Woman
Dear Girlfriends
If you think the sex was good tonight, remember that...because in a few years it’s going to be horrible. Sincerely
Sincerely, Boyfriends who turn into Husbands
Dear Girlfriends
If you’re wondering if we’re marriage material, just picture us now plus 50 pounds and never answering your phone calls
Sincerely, Men
Dear Girlfriends
We always pick up the tab...could you at least not take 2 hours to get ready for the date
Sincerely, Men
Dear Wife
Hope you don’t mind we’re going to forget to buy you a birthday present until the very last minute, every year, forever.
Sincerely, All Men Everywhere.
Dear Wife
We’re not cheating on you...we’re way too lazy
Sincerely, Men
Dear Wife
I don’t know what a “pumice stone” is, so please stop asking me to buy one.
Sincerely, Your Husband
Dear Wife
When you ask me to go grocery shopping, I always stop for fast food first.
Sincerely, Your Husband
Dear Wife
I spend almost all my time watching YouTube in the bathroom
Sincerely, Your Husband
Dear CoronaVirus
You’re a real showoff. Nobody even remembers me now
Sincerely, Swine Flu

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